On January the 1st I felt like a complete failure.
We always see the arrival of a new year as an opportunity to fulfil our dreams, we think: clean slate!
But when we wake up on January 1st we find ourselves once again faced with the things we left undone: issues were not solved by a simple change of date and what stayed unfinished in the old year... needs to be finished in the new one!
That's how, making an evaluation of how the past year went, seeing the pile of things that still need to be done, stress rises again and some questions come to mind: Can I continue doing what I have done so far? If I was not able to finish what I had to do last year, how can I think I can do it this year? Do I really have the capabilities to do what I do or is it just a story that I have told myself and that I have believed over the years?
That's right, on January 1st I felt like a complete failure.
I have put so much dedication into creating my music, into making my designs and yet I didn't see any validation. "If people don't listen to my music, then why make it at all? I kept telling myself over and over again.
I spent several days in bed with a fever due to a virus (no, it wasn't covid, so no worries!) and being cooped up didn't help my mental situation, I was ready to give it all up.
But I learned a lesson I wasn't expecting:
I was booked to sing at the birthday of a lady, who was celebrating her 100 years, no less!
I've got there with my friends and colleagues singers and we started to make a fuss 🤪🤪🤪🤪.
Singing again and connecting with an audience filled my soul again, even though the same questions were still going around in my head.
After a while, the birthday girl starts to sing and dance, celebrating her life in the most beautiful way: surrounded by family, friends and music and in my head the questions started to take a different shape and it is that admiring that pretty lady I couldn't do anything else but say to myself "why do you make life so complicated for yourself?"
At the end of our performance, while we were setting up the equipment, guests of the party came up to us and were amazed by the quality and grace of our voices and our music.
As we said bye-bye, the greeting from almost everyone was: see you soon and we're looking forward to your new music.
That's when I realised the power of our impact on such a small scale, it opened my eyes to why I shouldn't give up and why I have to keep working to make my dream come true.
That's why I'm giving my all so that we can build a NEW album together, made of songs that touch the souls of those who listen to them.
And yes, it's true, New Year doesn't mean a clean slate, but it is a time to reflect and realise if we should keep on following the path we are in or if we should change, keeping in mind that for change and new resolutions we don't need to wait until next year, month or week, we can make the change exactly the moment we want to.